Page 489 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

of knowledge which I gave her. She was very surprised in the beginning that it could
not be found anywhere, why the answers to her questions, which she sought from her
childhood, existed and nobody speaks or writes about it, why they can be found only
in private conversation with me.

She told me how many different books she had read, how many people she had
met in the course of life, searching for answers to her questions and she met me only
due to her casual meeting in the hotel "Kyevskaya" with the journalist from Donetsk
called Valentina. And then late at night, when the subway was closed, I took my
Mercedes and drove Svetlana to her hotel through the sleepy and empty Moscow. Then
I lived in my aunt’s flat, my mother’s sister’s place, in Butovo and taking the Warsaw
highway got Svetlana to her place at high speed, as quick as the wind. It happened
almost every day till my first visit to Archangelsk which I made at the end of June -
beginning of July, 1991.
Svetlana wanted very much to go there with me, but did not dare ask, and I found
it awkward to offer that, because I did not want her to interpret it wrongly. It was our
first parting. I knew that she had wanted to come with me when I came back and began
to tell her what happened in Archangelsk. I told her how I gradually, from performance
to performance, created the optimal way of co-operating with all categories of my
audience – from mere gapers to the people who came to know something new and get
some understanding of the surrounding world…

***
Regrettably, no reply followed my appeals. My mind perceived the phrase "You
have to go through that", but my heart refused to accept it. When others found
themselves in a similar situation, it was me who made the decision as to whether or
not a person should be restored and that certainly did not happen to all, only to those
whose role was key and not just for our planet, Midgard. No matter how bad I felt, I
had no right to restore all my lost comrades-in-arms, because it is absolutely prohibited
to return people to life at your own discretion and desire. Otherwise, anybody, who lost
his nearest and dearest, would have the moral right to require that his beloved husband,
wife, child, mother, father, brother, sister or friend should be returned to life, and would
be absolutely right–they did not love their beloved less than I loved mine. And I would
have no right to refuse them from there on! I think there is no need to explain what
consequences all this might have.
Therefore, when I failed to bring Svetlana back to life at once after the murder, I

appealed to my friends to make a decision, because I could not be sure of my own
unbiased attitude to what had happened, which is absolutely understandable. However,
in my heart of hearts I hoped that my friends would make a favourable decision which
would fill me with ineffable joy, but instead I only heard the reply: "You have to go
through that". My whole self rebelled against it; I could not understand the reason for
such a decision then and cannot do it now. I was not the only one who needed what
Svetlana did and, which is the most important, what she had not done. People needed
her in order to get up from their knees and feel themselves people, not a bunch of rams,
which parasites used to call them behind their back and lately say straight to their face.
All she did and was going to do, but was maliciously prevented, was necessary

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