Page 461 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

One day I heard the voice I wished to hear most in the world:

– Mother! Oh, mother, I worried so much
about you! It was my sweet child... My Anna!

To my utter surprise I wanted to see Caraffa! Most likely my heart tortured by
misfortunes and sufferings wished to harden. As usual, I did not expect too long...
It was a warm and light morning. The smell of jasmine wafted through the open
window. The sun tenderly and proudly shone, as if telling me that it was time to get
back to LIFE. I lay, still helpless, but quickly gaining the strength, which my last and
only aim required...
The door noiselessly opened. Caraffa quietly entered the room.

But what was that? What could have happened to him? The Pope’s face was weary
and old and grown lean. His eyes were feverish... It seemed that Caraffa had aged by
twenty years!!! What could have exhausted him so terribly?
– At last you awoke, Madonna?! Thank God! I had lost any hope of seeing you
alive! My doctors gave way to despair! They said that your brain went into darkness...
that you would never return. Oh, I am so glad! I greet you, Madonna!

Dumbfounded by the stream of his stormy delight, I could not utter a word.
Unexpectedly the Pope began to fuss and on growling out that he would come later,
darted out of the room...
What could that mean? Was it a proof that he sincerely worried about my health?
Or he simply was afraid that if I die now, his dream will never come true? I think that
only he was able to understand himself. I decided not to rack my brain concerning his
person and again submerged into a saving dream.
I did not know how many days my escape into "between worlds" lasted. Was it
days or weeks, and whether it mattered at all? The most important thing was that it
helped me to endure the loss of my girl and not to break. The rest was not important.
Now I was absolutely alone and had no reason whatsoever to worry about my family.
They all, killed by Caraffa, went to the best world... I could fully dedicate myself to
revenge without being afraid of the consequences, because now he could kill only me
alone.

Unexpectedly a terrible thing happened! Stella, Isidora, Anna and everything that
surrounded me disappeared!!! I felt that a huge vacuum cleaner pulled me in and I
appeared in my usual physical world, where my indignant grandmother waited for me.
As usual I jumped into my abandoned physical body... or rather I tried to jump. The
feeling was terribly unpleasant! I felt as if my poor spirit smashed into a cold iron
barrier. I cried out in my fright and stared at my grandmother.
– I cannot enter for some reason! Something keeps me out!

Indeed it was very scary. I saw my frozen physical body which simply did not
want to let me in! I knew that I was not dead, but for some reason I failed to get into
it.
– Granny! Please, help!!! – I cried being scared out of my wits.
Or rather it was my spirit that cried and nobody except my grandmother heard it.

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