Page 505 - Revelation

Svetlana de Rohan-Levashova. Revelation

going learn it from them. Nobody was or is able to feed on my pain, because a long
time ago I made all my emotions mortally dangerous for the Dark. If they intend to
taste my emotions, a very unpleasant surprise is waiting for them–on getting into a
Dark; they would begin to transform him.

In addition to that, I long ago created a "float" system for Svetlana and me, when
a change of emotional level automatically changes everything else, so that even very
strong emotions do not violate our harmony and balance. Besides, almost nobody ever
can see a storm of my emotions. First, to cause such a storm is very difficult, and
second, if this happens, it hardly manifests in outward appearance. I hold everything
within myself. One of the reasons for that is if I splash out my emotions, it can lead to
quite deplorable results, about which I shall not write here and now. However, the
ability to control emotions does not mean their absence! I was never an insensitive
blockhead, who did not give a damn, and I never will be–a living soul can not be
indifferent to the suffering and pain of others. However, the reaction of a living person
must not be in lamentations and consolation, but in an active action! Any action is
impossible without a keen and passionate heart, only then can you consider yourself
Man!
Certainly, it is hard to smile or laugh when your soul suffers. You have to acquire
this skill, no matter what, in order that parasites will not be able to rejoice at your grief,
and you will be able to continue fighting with them even being in this state, increasing
your persistence a thousand times. That is really what you should be able to do in order
that enemies can never break your will or force you renounce the cause of all your life.

Two hours flashed like one minute, absolutely unnoticed, and although nobody
disturbed me all this time, I understood that I could not sit next to Svetlana forever…
However sad it was, I had to leave. I kissed her beautiful eyes and lips and bade
farewell ‘til the next meeting. When I left the room with Svetlana’s body in it, I asked
a hospital attendant about their working hours, more precisely, using a great deal of
gestures, I showed that I would like him to write down the working hours of the
morgue. They worked seven days a week and visitors were allowed from 9 a.m. to 7
p.m., which was the only good news, if I may say that. The point is that on Friday,
November 19, I spoke to a funeral parlour employee about the time of Svetlana’s body
cremation and the date was set at November 24, 2010, at 2 p.m. He also said that on
November 24 at 10 a.m. he and his assistant would arrive at the morgue and transfer
the body into the coffin; whereupon it would be closed and a police commissioner
would seal it up, and the sealed coffin would be cremated.

Thus I had four days for visiting Svetlana. Four days. Fate favoured me with four
meetings for four years of our living apart–one day for each year! What irony! The
countdown began; the moment when Svetlana’s body will be cremated inexorably
became closer with every passing day. Alexander and I came to visit Svetlana every
day (I don’t want to write "to the morgue") and I spent more than two hours with her.
Each time I was surprised at the fact that the colour in her face and the state of her skin
were quite normal, there were no signs of death whatsoever. And each time the thought
flashed through my mind: maybe I should not cremate or bury her body and try to do
something to return Svetlana to life, but each time the traces of the autopsy

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